Getting a mean grade of A-plain in the Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education (KCSE) examination and sending the Form Four candidates to university through direct entry have become a matter of life and death.
In the just released KCSE results, a number of schools, well-known and the regulars have scored unbelievable grades, many of them sending the entire class to university.
While distributing their results, many schools indicate the percentage going to university.
Amid the noise that has accompanied this ‘stellar’ performance, A Plain magazine has realised that Kenya is becoming the land of optics and playing to the gallery while substance is sorely lacking.
Here is our selection of how Kenyans are trying so hard to prove to all and sundry that they are doing well and are top planners and inimitable peformers.
Passing Exams: While the number of people getting the minimum university entry grade of C+ (plus) and above is increasing, it is baffling how quality works are dropping. Some of the KCSE stars can’t communicate well, buildings they are constructing are collapsing while people are seeking treatment in foreign lands in droves. Where are Kenyans who have been scoring top grades and studying the coveted courses like medicine, engineering, and architecture?
Wonderful speeches: Politicians and company executives are known to make flowing speeches, ending up getting nods and votes, but their words fizzle out immediately after the year-end meetings and vote hunt.
Well-attended rallies: Political parties and some politicians are known to pull intimidating crowds. However, during voting the big crowds don’t deliver the much needed votes. Perhaps because of the gullibility of the voter, people are transported from different regions for bragging rights and media frenzy but it’s unfortunate that some may not be registered voters.
These people who are hired to attend the political rallies are the masters of deceit since they are dying to be seen as supporters while they are a passing cloud. They are the same people who will be complaining about poor government services endlessly without realising they aided the wrong candidates to win the poll.
These hirelings are worse thieves than those who are accused of manipulating figures and technology.
Artists’ impression: Almost every government project, from roads to housing to food production, is preceded by well-researched figures, graphics and inviting venues. Without a doubt, the presentations leave those watching the proceedings hopeful, but they, sadly, remain mere optics.
When launching various pro-poor projects and infrastructural edifices, the occasions are a sight to behold that are soaked in confetti and razzmatazz that are marked with mouth-watering bites and drinks by some of the well-known culinary top dogs.
Unfortunately, the projects turn into white elephants after the first phase as State mandarins retreat to endless and allowances-heavy meetings, claiming to search for funding.
For example, after the promising maize farming in Galana Kulalu, the country is back to square one and President William Ruto is saying he is building food production from the bottom up by giving farmers the right inputs. Dr Ruto says cheaper flour does not come from the supermarket shelves, it comes from the farms. He is very right. Kenyans are waiting to see if his flowing speech on food production will deliver the much needed Sh100 two-kilo packet of unga after a year of so.
Investment scams: Investment managers have been promising mouth-watering returns while parading strategic shareholders but their products end up imploding in less than 60 months, revealing gaping holes and pain the unsuspecting investors.
Their product launches are a sight to behold, partly with what Kenyans call ‘kizungu mingi’ and well-packaged media kits. And that is not enough; TV stations give them inordinate airtime to speak smoothly while responding to every question the celebrity presenters will throw here and there. Let us just say the investment managers acquit themselves well, scoring an equivalent A-plain of 84 points if the interviews were a KCSE-type exam.
Betting: Betting firms are scrambling for space in Kenya but media houses are threatening to beat them in their own game using their huge following.
Media houses are promising listeners and viewers easy wins running into millions of shillings while they know only a tiny percentage can win. While the mass media principally should inform, educate and entertain, the ownership is now running listeners, readers,and viewers mad with promises of becoming millionaires without working.
Beautiful CVs: After university or internship, young Kenyans package the curriculum vitae that could easily give them the CEO’s job. On winning the jobs thanks to coaching on ‘how to answer job interview questions’, the top candidates reveal a disturbing weakness, leaving more seasoned colleagues asking themselves whether the new arrival was handed the position through the influence of a senior executive or some other influential individual from within the company or elsewhere.
Copy & paste: From tenders, starting a business, and running a consultancy, a careful review reveals a copy-taste job thanks to the easily accessible manuals.
Media houses are copying what the competition has published and aired while unashamedly calling it ‘breaking news’. From this laziness is emerging the hurry to launch online news sites whose job is to regurgitate content and claiming it is repurposed content.
Working from home: This is one area that has revealed one of the reasons most Kenyan companies are not growing. When Covid-19 hit the world, companies were forced to reduce the number of people in offices and hurriedly worked the systems to allow working from home, albeit with difficulties such as weak internet connection.
Soon, they claimed the virus had hastened the adoption of technology and they could work from across the world. Sadly, when the infection rates dropped, the ‘legacy’ companies recalled workers to the office and banned working from home. What happened? No company wanted to be left behind since every strategy meeting and board engagement were not complete without the words ‘pandemic, ‘working from home’, and ‘economic recovery’.
In the above list, add the big cars hired to guzzle fuel to funerals, weddings, other marriage ceremonies, and alumni meetings.
Before we forget, it is no big meeting if dome tents are not enveloping the venues and the public address system is not in the hands of well-known technicians and DJs who are paid top dollar, irrespective of how the funds were raised.
